soo; i have not had time to blog in soo long!
but now i have time too.
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so i have been at camp for my summer, and this past week, like 48 hours at one point, God has done some greatt greaat things in my life. he has taught me some great lessons. it is truly mind blowing.
Last summer week 7 on wedseday i started to like a boy; well we kinda liked each other.
And it has taken one year, exactly for these feelings to kinda leave, and the hurt to be gone, and for me not to be upset about it anymore.
I have been waiting a year to talk to him, and finally we talked, it was an intense converstation, and a lot was said. but all that was said i needed to get off my chest, i was completley honest. maybe to honest. but i can't take it back, im learning i cant regret anything i say to anyone anymore, and he listened to it all, and it was amazing. i walked away upset, but woke up the next morning, and my heart said "it is done" my heart was done. It was such a mind blowing thing, and the fact that it was in God's time, God knew it was meant to take one year.
Now that i have got all that off my heart, im able to look at him for who he really is now, and not have those hurt feeelings behind it. I wish i could take back everytime i called him a jerk or a player; because i know he did not mean to hurt me, it was not on purpose. and if i truly thought he was those things i would have never liked him. One day i really hope i can talk to him again, and tell him i take back all those things i said and that i think he is an amaizng guy, with amazing talent, and has the potential to make huge differeneces. But right now is not the time for that becausei dont know if he will want to listen to what im really saying, but we have 3 more weeks of summer, and i think he will be around for a while. so one day, in God's time it will happen :)
And now we dont really talk, but i could not fake our freindship anymore, it was the last thing i wanted. so now we both are on the same page; mostly i think, so when we are meant to talk and build our friendship back it will happen. in God's plan. and im looking forward to what God has in store for the rest of my summer.
So having that converstation was a huge huge thing this week, that i have been waiting for a year to happen, but i relaize that it happened when God knew i was ready for it.
I was able albe to repair a friendship with an amazing girl, which im so happy about, becuase i think i would have missed out on an amazing thing, with an amazing person.
There was also another person that told me he has gained so much respect for me this week, becuase of the way im handleing things, he said im being very mature and responsilbe, and talking to him is so good, because i know he understands were i was coming from and what im trying to do to fix wahtever problems there are.
Right now im feeeling so blessed. Thank you God for your forgiveness.
