'when his grace covers me he raises everything i see into this new reality of where i can see a fact for a fact and a spade for a spade i can see my actions on how i act and the consequences of the choices that i've made i see the people that i've hurt and i see the chances that i've lost but i know what his grace is worth and i count it all as loss because by his blood he's washed me clean and he's seen everything i've seen the blackest of my nights and the colors of my dreams he's seen the love i have inside and everything i hide he's seen the coward that i am and how i long to be a man i long to be a man of the lord it's an ambition i've ignored'
there is so much going on in my world right now.. honestly it's so crazzy! and pretty hectic aswell if i may say so my self. Lord take me where you want me to go, cause we are one heart beating. i was so so sure about my future.. well the next year. but honestly God this is something i want you too tell me. i want to go where you want me.. this is not to serve my own purposes. this highschool crap is so stressful, im honestly so ready to be done! almost there, finally. but i just don't wanna waste my future, i wanna do stuff for your will. you know? i don't wanna waste me time... your time. i really hope kylie's okay.. i miss her. lots. and i love her. im really worried about her. kyle's amazing, im really thankful hes there.. cass is sillly, i miss her. im thankful for the girls at school. why does school have to be so stressful? i don't care about this crap anyways.. in a sense i'm doing it for my rents, is that right? well once im done it, i know that than i will apprecaite it. but right now, im not so much. it's aLOT on my plate.. i sometimes wonder if it's too much. and grad.. im so glad i'm finally here.. but it's so crazzy! grad comment, whhat to write? cocktail dress...? prom. limo. pictures. i miss josh, it's time for him to come home. it's time for things to settle down.. yet all i wanna do is get on with it! and really start living, cause at the moment i feel a little trapped and overwhelmed. but soon.. soon. i dunno whats soon. but i know God has a huge plan for me and my future and Lord i'm waiting on you! and i know you'll give me that goal and plan, you promised that. now i'm waiting.. but i must keep serving well i'm waiting. so Lord just show me.. what.. show me what. not where, not when, not why. but what! and i will go. i promise. my feet are so willing to move! im ready to move Lord. i'm part of the body of Christ.
'May the God of hope will you with all the joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.'-Romans 15:13
what happens when i don't wanna try anymore? because i have given you too much credit, and all that credit is just allowing you to hurt me. cause your mood becomes my mood. and that's not okay. so i'm taking this credit away. cause you don't even realize you have it. you don't realize how you can affect me. so i'm gonna take it away and change that. and maybe when you realize what you lost? and much i really do love you and care for you.. than and maybe only than will it be okay again. but until you realize and can appreciate me.. i can't keep giving and giving with0ut you even really caring. so you let me know when your back to who you were? the guy i liked. and than we can be best friends again. but until than i can't depend on you much. sorry.
but honestly it feels good to stand up for myself like this. it's really hard to. cause believe me, i wanna be there, i wanna help you, i wanna fix you.. but i can't. that's between you and God. so this is what needs to be done. i hope i'm doing the right thing.
3 in the morning, And I'm still awake, So I picked up a pen and a page, And I started writing, Just what I'd say, If we were face to face, I'd tell you just what you mean to me, I'd tell you these simple truths,
Be strong in the Lord and, Never give up hope, You're going to do great things, I already know, God's got His hand on you so, Don't live life in fear, Forgive and forget, But don't forget why you're here, Take your time and pray, These are the words I would say,
Last time we spoke, You said you were hurting, And I felt your pain in my heart, I want to tell you, That I keep on praying, Love will find you where you are, I know cause I've already been there, So please hear these simple truths, Be strong in the Lord and, Never give up hope, You're going to do great things, I already know, God's got His hand on you so, Don't live life in fear, Forgive and forget, But don't forget why you're here, Take your time and pray, These are the words I would say,
From one simple life to another, I will say, Come find peace in the Father,
Be strong in the Lord and, Never give up hope, You're going to do great things, I already know, God's got His hand on you so, Don't live life in fear, Forgive and forget, But don't forget why you're here, Take your time and pray,Thank God for each day, His love will find a way, These are the words I would say
'Give your best to the world, it may never be enough, but give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them.'
'tried to take a picture of love, didn't think i'd miss him that much. i wanna fill this new frame, but its empty, tried to write a letter in pink, its been gettting better i think, i got a piece of paper, buts its empty. maybe we're trying to hard. maybe were torn apart, maybe the timing is beating our hearts, were empty. maybe were tired, trying to hard. maybe were torn apart, maybe the timing is beating our hearts. were empty.'
