lets change the world.

she has future plans and dreams at night.
when they tell her life is hard, she says,
"that's alright."

'if you have the faith that can move mountains but do not have love; you have nothing!'

You are alive. You are living and breathing in this moment.
You are terribly beautiful and fantastically unique.
Do not waste it. Live each moment, my friend.

'i talk to banana's and they talk to me. i say hello and they say hello'

i dunno whats going on. everything seems to be great.. yet falling apart at the same time. i think its finally hitting me, and its so scary! i can't really imagine it. when i come home in one week everything will be changed.. so much will have happened at home. but im so happpy about him. and me and him. i have an amazing peace in my heart about it and such a joy! it is such an amazing feeling! yet scary at the same time, the have your heart out on the line. but i trust him and this is a relationship of God. God showed that what i wanted and what i thought i deserved in a relationship was a lie! and that what i really deserve is so much better, someone who can pick me up just as much as i pick me up. we strengthen eachother. and God has helped me find someone like that, someone that i know will encourage me and make me a better person. thank you so much God. God has honestly been testing me so much this week! it has been crazy, scary, yet good all at once! but God is slowly giving me comfort that even though one HUGE relationship in my life might be falling apart, that another is forming as we speak. and im scared to see where the next year take me, but excited! im nervous for my future.. i know the talks coming with my dad.. i know it. and im scared, i need to find the strength to tell him that God has a plan for me. but im not sure if that'll be a good enough answer. but Lord please show me one directions for my future, where YOU want me serving and going. its not about me. thank you Lord for everything you have blessed me with this week. im tottaly being tested, alot! but i know im not alone in this test or ever will be! thank you Lord. im so blessed. and im stoked to see where God takes me and him for the rest of the summer and so on! im really stoked. pray. pray. pray. God gives you a peace and a constant joy!

'i dig skateboarders!'

God, you keep answering my questions, thank you. but than i get new ones. and i know you'll answer them.. in your time.. but thank you for the amazing things you have done this week! you really do move mountains! 'if you have the faith that can move mountains, but do not have love; you are nothing!' is that not crazy! you have showed me so much this week! thank you. keep giving me strength Lord. you amaze me more and more each day. you allow me to laugh and be joyful everyday! that is a real blessing! we begin to take advantage of the little things in life! and the things we just come to expect.. we need to stop this! cause it might now always be there. or be together; or the way you want it! lets pray and thank the Lord.

you just compared New Zealand to Calgary?!? you can't do that, it's not a fair fight!

i need out. i need out. i need to leave. i need to ask the difficult questions. i need to leave this familar place we call home. i love home. i need to leave home. i have a year. i need to live life. i need to find my place. i need to find my path that God has created with my name writen above the entrance. i don't wanna fight, it'll just wear me out. i don't think they'll make it. and it breaks my heart, yet i think it might be what needs to happen. i'm scared.. im really scared. yet im so so excited! it's such an oxymoron. i don't understand the feeling. im ready for commitment, im ready for what it means and what it follows. yet i know i'm not ready AT ALL! not a single part of me could handle it. our society doesn't understand what commitment means anymore. we have lost the true sense of forever and always. and its scary to see marriages falling apart, families dying, love being lost and hearts being broken. all because peoeple can't see the commitment that they are making and how seroius it is. it is not a joke. and to me it never has been and never will be. what if i don't wanna it to be different. something is wrong. something is missing. and it breaks my heart. God has been doing amazing things. Camp=amazing. God somehow comforts me when i have nine 8 year olds running around. he calms my heart when a little girl purposly spills milk on my lap. so i guess no matter the hurt, no matter the hard times.. it's worth it. becasue i know God has a bigger plan for me. he has bigger things than i can think of for my future. this is what i need to find comfort in.. this is what i need to reply on and trust. i have so much emotion going on right now that i don't even know how to feel or what to say or how to think. half of me is yelling how can you not be joyful!? you are so freaking blessed and God has been so good to you. but another part of me is tearing apart and pulling me down. but its only giveing up if you fall and don't stand up again. and i have stood back up again. 'every girl is beautiful; it's our arrogance that gets in the way of thinking that.' there is something out there that is so much bigger than me! and i need to remember that. i have so much potenial and so much to look forward to ahead! so keep your head up and keep trucking. you have a fight that needs to be fought and people that need to be loved. it feels good to know i'm loved by the creator of the world.

this is how we overcome.

God is so good! that is exactly what i needed!
thank you :)