le it. our society doesn't understand what commitment means anymore. we have lost the true sense of forever and always. and its scary to see marriages falling apart, families dying, love being lost and hearts being broken. all because peoeple can't see the commitment that they are making and how seroius it is. it is not a joke. and to me it never has been and never will be. what if i don't wanna it to be different. something is wrong. something is missing. and it breaks my heart. God has been doing amazing things. Camp=amazing. God somehow comforts me when i have nine 8 year olds running around. he calms my heart when a little girl purposly spills milk on my lap. so i guess no matter the hurt, no matter the hard times.. it's worth it. becasue i know God has a bigger plan for me. he has bigger things than i can think of for my future. this is what i need to find comfort in.. this is what i need to reply on and trust. i have so much emotion going on right now that i don't even know how to feel or what to say or how to think. half of me is yelling how can you not be joyful!? you are so freaking blessed and God has been so good to you. but another part of me is tearing apart and pulling me down. but its only giveing up if you fall and don't stand up again. and i have stood back up again. 'every girl is beautiful; it's our arrogance that gets in the way of thinking that.' there is something out there that is so much bigger than me! and i need to remember that. i have so much potenial and so much to look forward to ahead! so keep your head up and keep trucking. you have a fight that needs to be fought and people that need to be loved. it feels good to know i'm loved by the creator of the world.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
you just compared New Zealand to Calgary?!? you can't do that, it's not a fair fight!
i need out. i need out. i need to leave. i need to ask the difficult questions. i need to leave this familar place we call home. i love home. i need to leave home. i have a year. i need to live life. i need to find my place. i need to find my path that God has created with my name writen above the entrance. i don't wanna fight, it'll just wear me out. i don't think they'll make it. and it breaks my heart, yet i think it might be what needs to happen. i'm scared.. im really scared. yet im so so excited! it's such an oxymoron. i don't understand the feeling. im ready for commitment, im ready for what it means and what it follows. yet i know i'm not ready AT ALL! not a single part of me could hand
le it. our society doesn't understand what commitment means anymore. we have lost the true sense of forever and always. and its scary to see marriages falling apart, families dying, love being lost and hearts being broken. all because peoeple can't see the commitment that they are making and how seroius it is. it is not a joke. and to me it never has been and never will be. what if i don't wanna it to be different. something is wrong. something is missing. and it breaks my heart. God has been doing amazing things. Camp=amazing. God somehow comforts me when i have nine 8 year olds running around. he calms my heart when a little girl purposly spills milk on my lap. so i guess no matter the hurt, no matter the hard times.. it's worth it. becasue i know God has a bigger plan for me. he has bigger things than i can think of for my future. this is what i need to find comfort in.. this is what i need to reply on and trust. i have so much emotion going on right now that i don't even know how to feel or what to say or how to think. half of me is yelling how can you not be joyful!? you are so freaking blessed and God has been so good to you. but another part of me is tearing apart and pulling me down. but its only giveing up if you fall and don't stand up again. and i have stood back up again. 'every girl is beautiful; it's our arrogance that gets in the way of thinking that.' there is something out there that is so much bigger than me! and i need to remember that. i have so much potenial and so much to look forward to ahead! so keep your head up and keep trucking. you have a fight that needs to be fought and people that need to be loved. it feels good to know i'm loved by the creator of the world.
le it. our society doesn't understand what commitment means anymore. we have lost the true sense of forever and always. and its scary to see marriages falling apart, families dying, love being lost and hearts being broken. all because peoeple can't see the commitment that they are making and how seroius it is. it is not a joke. and to me it never has been and never will be. what if i don't wanna it to be different. something is wrong. something is missing. and it breaks my heart. God has been doing amazing things. Camp=amazing. God somehow comforts me when i have nine 8 year olds running around. he calms my heart when a little girl purposly spills milk on my lap. so i guess no matter the hurt, no matter the hard times.. it's worth it. becasue i know God has a bigger plan for me. he has bigger things than i can think of for my future. this is what i need to find comfort in.. this is what i need to reply on and trust. i have so much emotion going on right now that i don't even know how to feel or what to say or how to think. half of me is yelling how can you not be joyful!? you are so freaking blessed and God has been so good to you. but another part of me is tearing apart and pulling me down. but its only giveing up if you fall and don't stand up again. and i have stood back up again. 'every girl is beautiful; it's our arrogance that gets in the way of thinking that.' there is something out there that is so much bigger than me! and i need to remember that. i have so much potenial and so much to look forward to ahead! so keep your head up and keep trucking. you have a fight that needs to be fought and people that need to be loved. it feels good to know i'm loved by the creator of the world.
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2 comments:
oh baby girl. can I just say I miss you!! Britnee what Im about to say is very important. You can do anything you want. If that means leaving for a year, If that means leaving your parents, going to new zealand, to intern for twloha, then DO IT. Your life is the life God gave to you, just trust him, let him know you are ready for anything, and let me tell you, he wont give you anything you cant handle. I LOVE YOU. and I want to see you soon. I need to hear this story about milk being spilt on your lap.. haha.
keep in touch love bug.
xoxo
you are amaziing. and i really did need that little comment, i neeeded to hear that. thank you. i love you!
and ill tell you the story!
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