'i talk to banana's and they talk to me. i say hello and they say hello'

i dunno whats going on. everything seems to be great.. yet falling apart at the same time. i think its finally hitting me, and its so scary! i can't really imagine it. when i come home in one week everything will be changed.. so much will have happened at home. but im so happpy about him. and me and him. i have an amazing peace in my heart about it and such a joy! it is such an amazing feeling! yet scary at the same time, the have your heart out on the line. but i trust him and this is a relationship of God. God showed that what i wanted and what i thought i deserved in a relationship was a lie! and that what i really deserve is so much better, someone who can pick me up just as much as i pick me up. we strengthen eachother. and God has helped me find someone like that, someone that i know will encourage me and make me a better person. thank you so much God. God has honestly been testing me so much this week! it has been crazy, scary, yet good all at once! but God is slowly giving me comfort that even though one HUGE relationship in my life might be falling apart, that another is forming as we speak. and im scared to see where the next year take me, but excited! im nervous for my future.. i know the talks coming with my dad.. i know it. and im scared, i need to find the strength to tell him that God has a plan for me. but im not sure if that'll be a good enough answer. but Lord please show me one directions for my future, where YOU want me serving and going. its not about me. thank you Lord for everything you have blessed me with this week. im tottaly being tested, alot! but i know im not alone in this test or ever will be! thank you Lord. im so blessed. and im stoked to see where God takes me and him for the rest of the summer and so on! im really stoked. pray. pray. pray. God gives you a peace and a constant joy!