hello; i miss you quite terribly.

when do you become too far in?
am i in too deep?

he makes me smile.

it's not just any regular smile either.

it's that radiant smile you know that one get

when you know you fallen head over heels for that one boy.

a bunch of mumbo jumbo.

i'm scared of losing you. i'm scared of falling. please don't forget about me. i'm done taking time apart. i'm done screaming for help. you're eyes are darker in the winter and lighter in the summer. your smirk makes me smile. i miss our phone talks. i miss the summer nights where nothing mattered. i missing sitting under the stars. i want everyone to know im yours. i wanna hear your laugh. i wanna see your smile. silly boy. you can make me laugh. you know what too say. you're bolder than i could have ever though. so much was said. yet there is so many lose ends. i said too much, yet not enough. no regrets. you're gonna do alot of growing. alot of soul searching. lets just see where we go. lets play this by ear. lets follow our hearts. just be true to yourself. be true to me. whats meant to be will always find it way. i wanna hear your heart beat. i want you to hear my heart beat. i need you honestly. i need the truth. i want you to promise me. just don't give up. on me. on you. we need to work at friendship. i need to be told im loved. i want to get butterflies when you walk in the room. i wanna scream so loud that the truth is revealed. don't tell me were okay. don't tell me we are not okay. tell me how you feel. tell me what is real. tell me if i got a chance. tell me if you want to be my friend. i'm not gonna waste my time on someone who doesn't care back. thats not fair. i give too much of myself away like that. everyone loves when your 6 feet under. i can't breathe. helpless. i'm not sure if i can yet. friends are so important.i don't EVER wanna take a friend for guaranted again. i wanna tell you how much you mean to me everyday. if you're done please tell me. tell me why. no regrets. you're just one chapter of my life. there will be more. don't be afraid to fall in love again. i need you. please don't let go. and if you must, tell me why. keep me in the loop. i don't ever wanna lose you. your friendship means alot to me. don't ever doubt that. i would never wanna lose you. i would never wanna break your trust. i dont wanna treat your secrets like they are meaningless. i never meant to hurt you. i never meant to cause you trouble. if were all alone, were all together in that too. small talk. be random. hip bones make me go wow. the way your hair falls in your face. the way your eyes tell me the things you never could. lets not forget to see the beauty in the world. the beauty of life. laughter is more important than we see. your smile. i miss you. lets be friends forever. best friends. your heart is just so big. im just so vunerable. your eyes scream of stories that i understand more than you know. your life gives me hope. your faith is stronger than you think. im stronger than i think. you shine so bright. i would be lost without you. happiness is key. let me love you. tell me how much i mean too you. tell me my name. tell me my favoraite colour. lets stay up talking all night. lets talk about spaceships and our future plans. lets never be too scared to live our dreams. just trust me. give me another shot. tell me where i went wrong. tell me the mistakes i've me. tell me where i have done you wrong. just be honest. lay everything on the table. im ready. putting things on the table has been my life for the last 2 weeks. im not afaird of what you have to say. tears my fall. smiles may fade. but they willk come back. i promise that your joy will come back. just remember to smile. remember to love. remember to care. don't forget your passion. we spend to much time waiting. wanting. hoping. i wanna make things right. you're more imporant than you know.

love.

your beauty shines so bright.

random. crazy. all you need is love. don't lose hope. life is more than just existing. youth church. my grandmas a hottie. i love sunshine. flips flops and skinny jeans. friends. who needs boys; when you got friends. piggy back rides. Jesus. camp. summer. i'm by your side. sleepovers. adventures. piercings. tattos. i hate fighting. pain is anger. make love not war. don't pick sides. i won't lie. lets not forget our purpose. there is a purpose for the pain. God knocks. my feet get cold; so i like socks with flip flops or flats. i hate losing friends. people always leave; but we foget that they come back. coffee rocks. new zealand looks beautiful. horses are so free. twloha. texting is overrated sometimes. phone talks can be fun. highschool=drama. im ready for being 18. interning. helping the hopeless. slurpees. blended strawberry lemonade with a pump of raspberry. your bass hurts my heart. my names chance; do i have one? you amaze me. you are loved please don't ever forget that. OTH. pretty eyes. smiles. how our heart breaks when our hero dies. you can't tell me i never mattered. fun. rainbows. mcds. mrmikes. my girls. curly hair. help gives hope. i wanna see you break those walls. masking taped heart. bubbly. faith. love. hope. these three remain. french braids. knowing God has a plan. pink. jeans. driving in a car full of friends. singing. dancing. your car. lets be friends forever. im afraid of losing you. we just need time. i wish you well. you will find love. lifes to short to regret. just laugh. balloons. chapstick. freedom. hottie for a grandma. worship. praise. truth. sermons. high cheek bones. great bone structure. eyelashes. family. never giving up. cardigains. flowers. candy. boredom sucks. plain. simple. complicated. open windows in the car. cold brezze. summer air. starry nights. buttons noses. one of a kind. shotty. waterfront. beautiful views. busy town. small city. im outta the box. not your normal teenaage girl. my heart breaks for you. i laugh with you. i miss you more than you know. i want to give you hope. i wanna help you stand when all you can do it fall. i wanna hold you. i want to show you how much i care for you. find your passion. don't lose sight. chilvary ain't dead. love stays strong. hope builds up. i wanna break down those walls you put up. i wanna save the day. i wanna save your day. i wanna stand up with you. lets do it different this time. lets breathe. take a step back. start from the beginning. see where the end leads us. we were all put together in this thing called life. lets not live it alone.

this is the same story you've

heard everytime before.

i'm on your side.

"I wish you well,

I wish you well, on this trip to find yourself,

I wish you well, wish I could help,

but I can't help you find yourself "

i believe in you.

what next?

so i pretty much just put my heart on the line for the taking.

any takers? anyone at all.

lets be five forever and never waste a day again.

This is crazy. When we were little we all had this friends who were imaginary. It was really great, and now we are so pressured to look good, have a million friends and be 'cool'. It kinda makes me sick some times. Like this is something that when were 10 we never think about the fact that one day of friend 'Norbert' will no longer be there... And the amount of people that will stab you in the back in crazy! This makes me feel like we need to show people just how much we care about them and how much we love the people around us. Cause we don't tell people enough.
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I would NEVER NEVER want this thought, or wish it upon anyone. One my last day, when ever that may be I want to say 'I lived a life full of hope and love, I never regret one day that I lived'
This makes me never wanna throw away another day, never sit around and throw it away. I want to get out and live, show people I love them, give hope to the hopeless and just be a postivie person. We waste so many days being negative and regreting choices that we make and asking questions of why God does thing in our life.. we think they are 'to' us, but it is for our good. Everything we do in our life is done for God, by God and through God. Never forget that.
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This 'little girl', I wanna be this little girl forever! I never wanna lose this; the unbroken and full heart, with dreams that could cover the sky! The barriers that we feel we need to put up.. some of them we put on our selves and are just not nessacary. We need to live like we are five years old again, were clothes did not need to match, boys didnt break hearts or matter as much. Where friends didn't stab you in the back, they just poked you with straws; but those are the friends i still look for in life, i can not have fake people around me.

In life is anything is possible you just need to believe in yourself and God. God will never every leave you hanging.

Gods worst plan for you, is better than your best plan for you.

God is good.

love is more important than people know.

I'm soo sooo sick of sitting around wasting time doing nothing! I hate just sitting around and watching TV. it sucks so much! I hate just sitting around, wasting days and time of my life that I can never get back! I HATE IT SO MUCH! it makes me so angrryy! urghh. and sometimes my parents are so easy going and they let me go out and just live! but sometimes they say 'no'!!! and i dont understanddd why!! they say no when i need to go the most. when i need to go out and worship and see people and pray, i cant! like tonight. i neeeded to go to yc before i start shcool again! and i was not allowed. so chokeed! :( but maybe there was a reason i was not going... maybe something was gonna happen if i went.. i dunno. but i hate sitting around not doing anything.
i wanna graduate and go to cali or new zeland, and move on! live life, love my friends will all my heart and never waste another day again. and never throw away something ill never get back!
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URGGGGHH! i hate stressing this! and i was so ready to go back tommmorw, not stressing just breathing and seeing how it all plays out. but now i got nothing to really go off of.. and nothing to just take that i can breathe with.
Lord please help me. just take me through this.


I can handle this. i know i can handle this. i can i can i can.
i love being there for other people and i love being there to listen to other people and hear about their problems and what is going on in their lives and let me pray and care for them. i love it so much! God has called me to do it. he has called me to love people will all my heart. love them more than they will ever be able to see! but sometimes it breaks me down and i just wish people would tell me randomly, when they meant it not cause i guilted them into it! because they feel they need too! that they love me and care about me and that i matter! and i have made a difference in there life. sometimes a simple reminder is all thats needed! sometimes.. i just wanna hear im loved and not cause i said it first or because im upset.. or because im having a bad day. i wanna hear it cause people mean it.
i love hearing that im loved. and i know im loved.. but sometimes actions speak louder than words.. i just wanna hear it sometimes. but no matter what, i will never stop loving my friends. never.
Life keeps going. Its a new day; lets not forget that.
im loved, i know, but reminders dont hurt.